A Journey through New England's History

A few years ago I had an opportunity to serve a mission through my church in the New England area. I was there for a year and a half and while I was there I truly grew fond of the people and the community. Upon arriving home my paternal grandfather informed me that he found a collection of postcards that were sent to my great-great-grandfather from some of his family members all over New England and whenever they would travel. My grandpa organized them into two full 3-inch binders and gave them to me as a gift. He wanted to keep them in the family and I wanted to see all of the history that was contained in these postcards. It has been so fascinating to look through them all so far and find connections between the writers and receivers and simply see the beauty in the old art.

This one is a beautiful picture of the
small town of St. Johnsbury, VT. Written
on the postcard is one sentence that says:
"Are you lonesome without your hubby?"

Although this has been fun to look through them, my husband and I agreed that they wouldn't do much good to anyone if we just let them collect dust in storage. So, I decided to work on scanning each one into the system (both front and back) so that people can enjoy the old beauty of these postcard paintings and photographs. I also feel like introducing them to the internet can help in someone's pursuit of researching their family history. Although this did belong to my great-great-grandfather by law, I was not actually blood related to him.
My great grandmother Hilda was born to loving parents of four other children older than her. Sadly, her mother died only days after giving birth to her due to complications. This all occurred in the early 1900s, which meant Hilda needed a mother to feed and take care of her during these first few months of life. Hilda's father, felt it would be best to give her up for adoption to the Marks Family. They took her in and after a few months of caring for her they officially adopted her and she was raised as a Marks for the rest of her life.
To separate her from our blood line even more, she married my grandpa's step-father after his mother had died soon after giving birth to my grandpa's youngest sibling. My grandfather's father had died nearly exactly after he had been born. So he knew Hilda and his step-father as his parents for the majority of his life.
Now, back to the present time, these postcards have been saved by Hilda after her adoptive parents passed away. Following her death, my grandfather organized her collection and then gave them to me as I have a personal connection to the New England area. Long story short, these cards have gone through quite the journey!

A picture turned into a postcard that features Company E of
the 1st Regimen in the Vermont National Guard of 1907.

Hobby Time... Again

This is the painting of Christ's hand
that I am currently working on,
I'm shading, adding color, and
depth at the moment.

Recently I was able to continue painting the image of Christ's hand that I have been working on. I said I would take pictures of my progress but I sincerely was only able to sit down and work on it for an hour that day and nothing since then haha. However, I was able to continue on my millions of other projects that are going on. For example I've completed my first homemade shirt from spare fabric I had from old clothes and projects, I've made a really amazing double chocolate cake, and some okay tasting mango bars (like lemon bars but with mangoes). Some worked out more than others but I feel so much better now that I've let out my creative energy. I'm just grateful my husband is so patient in letting me experiment and use our resources on projects like this.
I love my hobbies but sometimes, but I also lose interest in them sometimes (i.e. my plants are dying). For me, my anxiety needs outlets, but my its also dynamic and picky. I need constant, cheap solutions to feed my desire to create in order to avoid feeling inadequate and useless. Thus, the box of cheap paints, sewing machine I borrowed from my sister, and inexpensive (non-name brand) foods/ingredients. All of these make it possible for me to feel spontaneous in making things that could potentially fail, yet allow me to experiment and release my feelings in a healthy way.
Well, I'll leave it at that, here are some picture updates on some of my projects!

This is one of the skirts I've made recently.
I love how it turned out, but I don't have
many shirts that go with it haha

The morning glory seeds I planted nearly two months ago have
finally begun blooming! They look great but they don't last long.
It doesn't help the dirt outside is not optimal for delicate flowers
and their growth.

Sometimes, you just need a hobby

I feel like every few days I am dying to create something new. This probably is not a problem for everyone, but I find it a daily challenge!
I was not the most imaginative kid. I played with a few dolls as a little girl, but I never had an imaginary friend or pretended I had food to share with grown-ups like my cute niece does. When I hit puberty, though, I began to find that I had a desire to create. I've been painting, baking, cooking (yes, there's a difference), sewing, decorating, etc. ever since. At least it is a more healthy alternative to being on Facebook or Netflix all day.
My current hobbies include pastry making, painting simple wall art, and sewing skirts. I don't exactly know where these ideas for new creations/hobbies come from, but I recognize them often and try to act on them, otherwise I begin feeling like I am not doing much with my life. (I guess you could say this blog is also one of my current hobbies, too.)
Doing all of these random things has helped me a lot with my depression. When I am creating something, I feel like I am giving life to a feeling or some thoughts I am having. It is an emotional outlet. The only problem is that sometimes I feel like I put too much into it. My perfectionism comes out as I want to create something that illustrates exactly how I'm feeling or what I'm thinking. Consequently I then become frustrated when I find I am not as skilled as my imagination at making that perfect 3 tiered, buttercream flower covered, smoothly frosted cake I had seen in my head. It is at that point I need to take a step back and realize things don't need to be perfect. The important thing is that I am letting out emotions that need to leave my mind for a time.
Today, I will challenge myself to work on my current painting (an image of Jesus Christ's hand reaching out) and post pictures of my progress. I believe that seeing continual images of my progress on a project will benefit my feelings towards my efforts.

A Little Intro

I've decided that it is time to step out of my comfort zone and open up about how the world of anxiety can sometimes feel like a whole other dimension of life. My name is Katy and I have generalized anxiety disorder and dysthymia. Having grown up all my life with these mental challenges, I have seen the world in a way that is different from a lot of people around me. Approximately 5% of the world's population suffers from some form of depression (Healthline). Although this number can only be so accurate as many go their entire lives without being diagnosed for many reasons. My goal of putting my thoughts out their for the world to see is to help raise awareness that mental challenges are not necessarily terrible things, and are not nearly as uncommon as we may think.
I grew up in a religious family with 3 siblings and two wonderful parents. There was always love in my home. I am still religious myself and I am not happily married to an amazing man. Unlike popular opinion, mental illnesses are not always cause by some traumatic experience in a person's life. The primary cause of most mental illnesses is actually genetics (ADAA). Inside the brain a million of connectors that help carry out the brain's functions, these are called neurotransmitters. If something goes wrong in these connections throughout various parts of the brain, a person can experience difficulty in carrying out normal functions (such as what moods you should be experiencing). Now, I am no psychology expert, but I do feel that it is important for people to understand just a little bit about how the brain functions and how that can play a part in mental disabilities. (Harvard Health Publications is a great source for those who want to learn more about the function of the brain and how that affects mental health.)
I won't go into too much detail in this blog about how the brain functions, but I will mention things from time to time to help support my thoughts and ideas. Again, my main purpose of writing my thoughts is to raise awareness as well as allowing those who struggle with mental challenges to know that they are not alone.